Rite of Passage

Being a school teacher usually means having a plurality of jobs throughout the year.  Over the summer I have taken on these jobs, conveniently located at the same place:  Pool Cleaner, Swim Coach, Lifeguard, and Swim Instructor.  Its been fun and fruitful.  One bonus is that after spending hours in the sun, I look like my natural, part-Native American self. One negative is that the pool is the object of teen-aged vandals.

I got to the pool one morning a few days ago to find it trashed.  Chairs, tables, umbrellas, stands, ash trays, plants, dirt, anything that wasn't bolted down.  They even threw in the clock off the wall.  It was a mess.  I am INCREDIBLY thankful that they stopped short of pooping in the pool.  I've heard horror stories about that from the pool manager and I hope I never have to deal with it.

A few of us were talking about it after cleaning up, and the obligatory "Why?" question was asked.   Why would this seem like a good idea?  Why do these kids deem it necessary to destroy property?  What do they gain out of it?

My answer is this:  a rite of passage.

                                                       

Most kids don't even know what the term means.  But they default to it in almost every aspect of our culture.

Rite of Passage.  In other places in the world, and in other times in our country, these are fixtures of society.  A tangible evidence of the transition from boyhood to manhood.  The Maasai in Africa have lion hunts. The Jewish have Bar-Mitsvahs.  There are many other examples across the globe.  The purpose is fairly uniformed:  the individual acknowledges he is of age, sometimes accepts a challenge, and is honored with a ceremony where the society around him recognizes him as a young adult.  There are expectations and responsibilities that go with the passage to which the community holds him accountable.

Contrast that with our own society:  A general lack of understanding of the word manhood exemplified by bored boys with little ambition growing into bored grown-ups with little discipline or ambition.  I think we call it mandolescence or something to that effect.  Whatever the term, its usually manifested in video game-playing, pouty, irresponsible guys who may or may not be living with mom and spend too much time in their "man caves".  Think "Blank Check" where the little boy gets access to $1 million and buys a mansion filled with the stuff of his dreams ($1 mil wasn't enough to buy all that, even in the 90's)
                                           
Anyway, we don't train our boys to become men.  Granted, its hard to do that when you can't define what a man is.  I imagine that's why these kids and others like them choose vandalism and other destructive but daring tasks - to prove their bravado to themselves and others.  Imagine what could be accomplished if we, as a society, could channel that desire to productive things?  We have got to make some changes.

So, I'll start with my kids.

 I plan on doing something special with my kids, boys and girls, when they become young adults.  We'll probably follow the example of our friends and mentors, The Bloms, who have taken their sons on some incredible adventures, like bear hunting.  I mean, how awesome is that?  I've got a few years to plan it, but I know that whatever the rite of passage will be, it will be extreme, intentional, and fun.  Hopefully like all the years leading up to it.  One trip is not intended to substitute for time lost or as a "quality v. quantity" example, rather, it should enhance the strong relationship I have with my kids.  They will return with a sense of empowerment and encouragement and be given more responsibilities to back it up. Man, I'm getting pumped about this...I don't know if I can wait another 10-11 years...